Back in the day, whenever someone was mean to me, my initial reaction was to shoot back that same second. If they yelled, I yelled back louder, it was as simple as that. At the time, it just felt like the right thing to do because of so many reasons that felt obvious. It was second nature to me to defend myself by doing what that other person did. But looking back at it, I realize it was the most unhealthy way for me to handle such situations. And yes, it only made things worse in every way.
What I’ve learnt ever since is that even a few seconds can flip the script of an exchange. When you take a moment to before you respond allows your brain to catch up with your emotions. More often than not, that moment is the difference between a blowout argument that leads you nowhere and a civil exchange that ends without any of you linger any anger.
So how do I manage this? It’s very simple, really. I just stop and take a deep breath, or even two, and give myself a moment to clear my head before I utter anything at all.
And when you think about it, you don’t even own anyone an immediate response, especially not to those who don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Keep Calm
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