More time than I had ever gotten.
“What did she look like?”
Robert began crying.
My throat tightened.
“What did our daughter look like?”
“Mel…”
“I don’t know her face, Robert.”
He lowered his head.
“She had your mouth.”
His voice broke.
“And the shape of your eyes.”
I pressed my fist against my lips.
He stepped toward me.
“Don’t.”
He stopped.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were still in surgery when they asked if I wanted to see her.”
He wiped his cheeks.
“It was too late, but they thought maybe…”
“And you said yes.”
“I couldn’t let her go without one of her parents holding her.”
The words hurt because I understood them.
“Then why did you tell me you hadn’t seen her?”
He stared at the floor.
“When you woke up, you were confused. You were in pain. I thought if I told you…”
“You thought what?”
“That you’d want every detail.”
“I did.”
His face crumpled.
“I was terrified it would destroy you.”
I stared at him.
“You asked if she was already gone.”
“I thought if I told you…”
“And what did you tell me?”
He fell silent.
“I said yes.”
My stomach dropped.
“Was she?”
Robert didn’t answer.
“Robert.”
He finally looked at me.
“Could I still have seen her?”
“Yes.”
I stepped away.
“Then you didn’t just hide your goodbye from me.”
My voice shook.
“You took mine.”
He closed his eyes.
“What exactly did you protect me from, Robert?”
I could barely speak.
“I woke up with milk for a baby who wasn’t here. I can’t walk past her nursery.”
His face crumpled.
“I made the wrong choice.”
“You made it again every day you kept lying.”
He sat down.
“I made the wrong choice.”
I remained standing.
“Did they give you anything? Any keepsakes?”
Silence.
“Robert.”
He said nothing.
“What did they give you?”
“A card.”
“Where?”
His eyes moved toward the stairs.
“Go get it.”
A moment later, he returned with a small envelope.
He placed it between us on the table.
“You’ve had this for two weeks?”
“Yes.”
“Do you look at it?”
His face folded.
“Every night.”
While I had been upstairs trying to remember whether Claudia had made a sound, Robert had spent every night looking at something that belonged to her.
I opened the envelope.
Inside was a small card bearing two tiny footprints.
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